Meet the new “Merry Martha”
Hurray! It looks like the exorcism has finally worked. The evil has departed Martha Stewart’s body:
Martha Stewart promises to make you forget Donald Trump’s signature line when she stars in a new spinoff series, “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart,” this fall.
Showing off a sunnier persona, America’s most famous ex-con says she has come up with her own way of handing out televised pink slips - but you’ll have to watch to find out.
“What I really wanted to say is, ‘Your ass is grass!’” Stewart told Newsweek for its upcoming issue before letting out a very un-Martha-like laugh. […]
“Maybe it’s time to think of me a little differently,” Stewart said. “In the last two years, people have tried to make me a dour, miserable human being, and I’m not.”
She then proceeded to deny that her name was Martha Stewart and that she’d sold her soul to the devil for a cookie recipe and mediocre culinary skills.
Let this be a valuable lesson to all of us: Therapy can be your friend!
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I used to watch Martha Stewart constantly. My favourite useless Martha Stewart tip: Pre-Scoop ice cream into round balls, place on cookie sheet and put back in the freezer. This is so that they are perfectly round and easier to put into bowls during the big party. What a dumb cunt.
by aShelteredTown on August 22nd, 2005 @ 11:40
Does that mean you’re not putting your pre-scooped ice cream on cookie sheets?
You bad girl, you!
Actually, I knew someone who was doing this. The problem was, the ice cream lost its flavor. Don’t know why, it just did.
by Garbage Man on August 22nd, 2005 @ 11:51
You need new friends. Come hook up with me.
by aShelteredTown on August 22nd, 2005 @ 11:57
I know. I will!
But first I’m off to lunch to get my daily dose of food poisoning at another random fast food dive.
by Garbage Man on August 22nd, 2005 @ 12:25