THE Daily Mirror today reveals shocking pictures of supermodel Kate Moss snorting a fat line of cocaine during a debauched drugs and drink session with junkie lover Pete Doherty.As the white powder induces a sudden rush to her brain, she rocks back in her seat and laughs hysterically. The coke is kicking in.

Within seconds she leans forward and again sniffs into a tightly rolled-up �5 note, hoovering up every last grain of the Class A drug. […]

With her blonde hair hanging untidily around her shoulders, the model icon, worth �30million, prepares up to 20 lines of coke in just 40 minutes.

Sounds like she was on Speed…

NATALIE PORTMAN was left squirming in her seat when she visited a German bar soon after shaving her head for her role in upcoming movie V FOR VENDETTA - because she attracted unwanted female attention.The GARDEN STATE beauty intended to spend an innocent night watching the Eurovision Song Contest in Berlin, but she quickly realised she was in a gay bar and all eyes were on her.

She says, “One of the first places I went after I had shaved my head was a bar in Berlin to watch the Eurovision Song Contest.

“I’m sitting there and then I realised that it was a gay bar and my haircut was being very, er, shall we say ‘appreciated’ by quite a few of the girls there.”.

Call me crazy but I think it was Natalie that was ‘appreciated’, not her shaved head.

I’m pretty sure she could have sported a Queen Victoria wig and still gotten lucky without batting an eyelash.

It seems as if it was just yesterday that these cute little twins were getting pimped for cash on some hokey sitcom.

Revenge will be sweet:

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen want to make Cole and Dylan Sprouse the male versions of their teenage girl merchandising empire, The Wall Street Journal reported.

“My sister and I started the whole ‘tween empire,” Ashley Olsen was quoted as saying. “I definitely see the potential for the boys to do that sort of thing.”

The 13-year-old Sprouse twins shared the role of Julian in Adam Sandler’s 1999 film, “Big Daddy,” just as the entrepreneurial 19-year-old twin actresses played Michelle Tanner on television’s “Full House,” which aired from 1987-1995.

With the brand name of D.C. Sprouse, Cole and Dylan will be the face of a boys division that will include DVD movies, CDs and other merchandise for the Olsens’ Dualstar Entertainment Group, the newspaper reported Monday. […]

Home video sales and product sponsorships ranging from a fashion line to toothpaste have made the “Mary-Kate and Ashley” brand a billion-dollar enterprise. Each twin is estimated to be worth more than $150 million.

Who says you have to be a big movie star to rake in the millions? Not me.

Not anymore.

Bless her heart, Paris will do anything to get her name in the paper and her record produced:

Just when Paris Hilton’s engagement to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis had us all believing that fairytales really can come true, sources say the unregenerated wildchild has given in to her baser instincts and taken up with Scott Storch, the hip-hop superproducer behind her upcoming debut album.

Hilton watchers first noticed the unlikely pairing two weeks ago when Storch squired the heiress to the VMAs�with her devoted fianc� nowhere in sight. “They were holding hands the whole time in Miami and were all over each other,” says one observer. But chatter about the celebutante’s straying ways reached fever pitch at this Saturday’s Play Station Portable fashion show in New York. […]

Storch, 31, spent most of the show backstage with his songbird: “He brought her a bag with a bunch of pink stuff and some shoes,” says another partygoer. “Everyone at the afterparty was talking about them being together. He even led the search effort for her cell phone when she lost it after the show”�proving himself the cool-headed yin to her semi-retarded yang. […]

Asked about Hilton’s latest accessory, her rep, Bob Zimmerman, said coyly, “Paris and Scott are taking advantage of every public opportunity to create buzz for the album he’s producing.” As for Latsis? “They’re still engaged and Paris is still moving forward with the wedding plans.”

What about the other Paris, is he also still moving forward with the wedding plans? Cause we all know it takes two Paris for one white trash wedding…

Well, slap my heiny and call me Suzy. Why would anybody in their right mind wanna mock our precious talented little Paris?? C’mon, that’s just crazy.

Right?

PARIS HILTON is eager to ensure her singing debut is a huge success - because she fears being mocked if it fails.

The hotel heiress began talking about the release of an album more than two years ago, but has yet to release any singles.

And Hilton, who is collaborating with producer SCOTT STORCH and rapper SNOOP DOGG on the project, admits she’s keen to make sure it’s all perfect so that critics aren’t too tough on her.

She says, “I want every song to be great. If they aren’t, people will trash me.”

It’s obvious, she’s the smart one in the family…

And I’m not talking about an internship in Hollywood…

The Rolling Stones star Keith Richards is thrilled he has had such phenomenal success with women, because he describes himself as an “ugly son of a b**ch”.

The 62-year-old insists bedding the beauties is simply part of his duty as a rocker, and he knows his iconic persona is the real turn-on.

He says: “I just roll over and say: ‘Love me.’

“I’m an ugly son of a b**ch but I’ve lived with some beautiful women.

“I didn’t do this to get laid but it’s part of the job.”

Okay, just so we’re clear, I got into blogging only for the raucous groupie sex.

Blogger groupies are pure rock-n-roll.

It looks like another young actress got caught in the tangled web of an eating disorder.

I hate when this happens. It’s sickening…

*BARF*

Like her mother Goldie Hawn, actress Kate Hudson has always seemed a picture of bubbly good health.

But the 26-year-old star looked gaunt and frail as she went shopping in the Los Angeles suburb of Malibu.

Miss Hudson, whose latest film The Skeleton Key was panned by critics, wore dark glasses, a Panama hat and an over-sized T-shirt which failed to disguise her tiny frame.

She admits she put herself through a punishing weightloss regime to prepare for the role - her first since the birth of son Ryder 20 months ago.

Having gained almost five stone during her pregnancy, she then had to get rid of it all in three months before the cameras started rolling.

Now it looks as though she has gone on shedding the pounds even after the director called ‘cut’.

I liked The Skeleton Key. Pretty clever movie.

The Skeleton look however isn’t really working for me.

These two dimwits are so clueless their collective stupidity could move mountains:

What better Fashion Week kickoff than a nasty catfight between Jessica and Ashlee Simpson and legendary photographer David LaChapelle?

The 37-year-old LaChapelle spewed flames of hatred for the sisters Simpson at Tuesday night’s benefit for the Brazilian charity Voice of the Streets at Churrascaria Plataforma Tribeca.

“They’re everything that’s wrong with music,” LaChapelle seethed to Lowdown. “Out of everything combined, they’re everything wrong with culture, and everything wrong with art, and what we think of as art and musical culture - in one family!”

LaChapelle, who not only shoots covers for Vanity Fair and Italian Vogue and makes music videos but also directed the critically acclaimed documentary “Rize,” was just getting warmed up.

“They’re nothing. They have nothing. They hold no interest whatsoever for anybody,” he sniffed. “They’re reality-red-carpet, lip-synching television stars. I don’t know what they are beyond that. I don’t think they offer anything.”

So what did these innocent young ladies ever to do to him?

According to a source in the Simpson camp, LaChapelle is bitter that Jessica and Ashlee recently refused to pose for him for a Rolling Stone cover.

“When you do a cover with your sister, you both want to look like who you are,” says the source. “David doesn’t have that skill. The girls were looking for a photographer who wasn’t a one-trick pony. He’s good at what he does, but that’s it.”

Is it me or is the “source” Pimp Daddy Simpson?

I mean, who other than Joe would complain about a “one-trick pony” (“one-trick pony” my ass) while peddling two inept wannabe starlets?

The old PR adage is that there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

I disagree:

Rumours have been flying this week that Keira Knightley’s already found herself a new man, in the shape of Bodyrockers musician Kaz James.

But now it looks like it’s all a load of old bunkum.

The 20-year-old star, who recently split from model Jamie Dornan, set tongues wagging at the Pride And Prejudice premiere when she and Kaz arrived just minutes apart.

And Kaz, fresh from chart success with I Like The Way, wasted no time in telling people he was dating the actress.

But now Keira has hit back at the rumours, calling them “codswallop”.

“I’m slightly surprised, because I’ve never met him in my life,” she told the Daily Mail. […]

Keira went on to brand the chart star a “sad loser” for telling people they were an item.

“Who does he think he is?” she said. “There are words I could suggest but they are rude.”

You mean like “codswallop”? I love it when Brits talk dirty… “Codswallop”?? Is that even a word?