I think there’s an unwritten rule not to blog while being wasted and barely conscious. Well, I say fuck that! I’m gonna do it anyway, because I’m punk like that! And because these asshats are starting to seriously piss me off.

And I mean, like, seriously!

Ambushing people is whack, assholes!
Why is it that only paparazzis get their ass whipped by celebs and never tourists? Ever think about that? It’s because tourists respect other people’s personal space. I for one am not surprised Woody got pissed. Any sane person would have done the exact same thing. Sticking a camera and spotlight in someone’s face after a long night is always a bad idea. It don’t matter if you’re a celeb or cook from the local fish grill. It’s pretty simple - if you don’t wanna get smacked in the face do what tourist do, take your pictures from six feet away, assholes!

Force-feeding lame stories is whack, assholes!
So a dumb paparazzi runs into Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake at the airport, but fails to recognize Justin. *Ho, ho, ha, ha! Very funny.* Who the fuck cares?! Exactly! No one. Get the fuck over it and stop posting that boring clip every fucking week.

Sensationalizing boring shit is whack, assholes!
If you are going to report boring David Hasselhoff shit, just report it - don’t be a fucking smartass and try to sensationalize snoozy shit about how he lost his temper on the air. He didn’t and you know it, assholes!

Whiny paparazzi are hella whack, assholes!
This is a no-brainer, but since this is TMZ we’re talking about I think I have to spell it out: Nobody gives a flying fuck about whiny paparazzi. Yes, I said NO ONE! Now go and try to wrap your tiny brains around that fact, assholes!!!

In conclusion, fuck TMZ and fuck AOL and fuck all the other fartfaced companies bankrolling that piece of shit soccer mom gossip site.

There, I’ve said. Whoa, that felt good! I think I’m gonna go throw up now.

This entry was posted by Jaime terribly early in the morning and is filed under Celebs, Feud, News Mongers, Paparazzi, TMZ . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.