Is it possible that Shiloh isn’t the product of Brad Pitt’s “two pounds of cock“? The National Enquirer seems to think so:

“Angelina Jolie has been struggling with the most explosive Hollywood secret ever! Brad Pitt may not be the father of her newborn daughter, a source tells The Enquirer!”

Well, if it’s not Brad Pitt it’s probably Jonny Lee Miller.

[Source: Tabloid Whore]

What is Brad Pitt trying to tell us?

“Shiloh Pitt” in Swedish translates as “two pounds of cock”.

Well, I guess she really is daddy’s *little* girl…

[Source: popbitch]

Journalists in Namibia covering the birth of the new messiah, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, are being subjected to harrassment, intimidation and threats. One journalist who was suspected of leaking the scoop that Angelina had given birth has been followed by a local heavy for days. She noticed a man hanging around her house, following her everywhere, so she went to the police. On her return to her house the man knocked on her door, introducing himself with the chilling phrase, “I am not a psychopath or a killer, but…”, before telling the stringer that he’d been hired to scare her: give her “a taste of her own medicine”. What’s even more galling is that the journalist was entirely innocent of being the leak. That award goes to an enterprising American female reporter who managed to check into the Cottage Medi-Clinic in Swakopmund, and shagged one of the doctors in order to get the scoop.

Whoa! I had no idea Paris Hilton was moonlighting as a reporter in Namibia.

[Source: Popbitch]

Jen’s not gonna like this, but it’s time to face the awful truth:

People dig Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt.

A lot!

These two are like cream butter on a sizzling steak.

…like French toast on a Sunday morning.

…like a Banana Berry smoothie on a hot summer day.

…like a– Well, I think you get the idea.

Brad and Angelina are the kryptonite of celebrity couples!

Congrats for a job well done.

P.S. It sure sucks to be Orlando and Kate.

I was convinced these two would be a winning combo.

I guess I was wrong.

*shrugs*

Better luck next time…

Good God, this Brad/Angelina/Jennifer triangle of lovely lust is like the gossip equivalent of warm milk-n’-cookies.

You just can’t get enough of that tasty, hot combo:

TO add fuel to Jennifer Aniston’s sad fire, there are now reports that Angelina Jolie’s adopted son, Maddox (above), calls Brad Pitt “daddy.” According to Us Weekly, while filming an Edwin Jeans commercial for the Japanese market in Lancaster, Calif., Maddox started crying for Pitt, yelling, “Where’s my daddy?”

Who needs sugar in their coffee when you can start your day with sweets like these!?

Yeah, I think that pretty much captures the gist of Vanity Fair’s upcoming Jennifer Aniston interview:

Aniston’s pals say Pitt checked out of the marriage as soon as he met Jolie on the set of “Mr. & Mrs. Smith.” They note that he even failed to make the taping of her final episode of “Friends.” When she reached out for her husband’s support, she says, “He just wasn’t there for me.”

Does Aniston buy his claim that he didn’t cheat on her before they separated?

“I choose to believe my husband,” says Aniston, who nevertheless was hurt by that W magazine portfolio of Pitt and Jolie playing husband and wife.

“There’s a sensitivity chip that’s missing [in him],” she says. “I can … imagine Brad having absolutely no clue why people would be appalled by it.”

… and his new blond dye job:

“Billy Idol called,” she says. “He wants his look back.”

Touch�.

It doesn’t matter how I twist these numbers, thanks to you all the fact won’t change: Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie are having wild, passionate sex!

Who needs hard facts when you can vote on it on the internet?

I know I don’t.