THE Davis dynasty of Beverly Hills is urging oily heir Brandon to enter a drug and alcohol rehab facility - but so far Brandon has resisted their pleas. […]

But while the unemployed Brandon is balking at entering a rehab facility because he thinks he doesn’t have a drug or alcohol problem, his family wants him to go for public-relations reasons.

Ever since the video surfaced, the Davis family has been shunned by young Hollywood, and matriarch Barbara Davis is even having problems getting A-listers to participate in her annual Carousel Ball in October.

I don’t think it’s the bad PR. A-listers hate to be surrounded by ugly and Brandon’s mom is some seriously ugly lady. I mean come on, I can’t be the only one who craves a “Yo Momma” joke when looking at that plastic surgery troll in a dress.

Unfortunately, she didn’t have a whole lot to say, you know, being coked out of her head and all:

KATE Moss let fly with a tirade of foul-mouthed abuse yesterday when confronted about her snorting fat lines of cocaine.

Asked about our exclusive video clips of her hoovering up the Class A drug, she said: “A video? What video? F*** off, I don’t want to know.”

Questioned if she wanted to talk about taking drugs, the 31-year-old supermodel then raged: “F*** off, f*** off, f*** off, f*** off! Just f*** off!” […]

As the beauty threw a hissy-fit, crackhead Doherty tried to calm her down. Pulling her away as the couple ran towards the Mercer Hotel where they were staying, he urged: “Come on, we’ll read it tomorrow anyway… deal with it then.”

Then he squared up to our reporter, but Kate pulled him away, saying “f***ing leave it”.

Even inside the hotel, away from the chaos outside, Moss refused to listen to our questions. We wanted her to respond to the drug claims sensibly. Instead, she lost it again, ran into the lobby area screaming at the top of her voice.

Someone please remind me not to stay at the Mercer.

THE Daily Mirror today reveals shocking pictures of supermodel Kate Moss snorting a fat line of cocaine during a debauched drugs and drink session with junkie lover Pete Doherty.As the white powder induces a sudden rush to her brain, she rocks back in her seat and laughs hysterically. The coke is kicking in.

Within seconds she leans forward and again sniffs into a tightly rolled-up �5 note, hoovering up every last grain of the Class A drug. […]

With her blonde hair hanging untidily around her shoulders, the model icon, worth �30million, prepares up to 20 lines of coke in just 40 minutes.

Sounds like she was on Speed…

Luck is overrated. If you really want to make it big in Hollywood, you should stop chasing your dream and start frying your brain with hard drugs.

I know it sounds a bit suspect, but some people swear by it:

Troubled Hollywood star DENNIS HOPPER has promoted hard drugs and alcohol as the perfect ingredients for movie making, and insists he owes his career to his many addictions.

The SPEED actor was famously forced to kick his hardcore habits in the 1980s after he was found naked and begging to be shot dead in Mexico.

But the 69-year-old insists his substance-abusing years never effected his work ethic or onscreen talent. […]

“At the time, drinking, doing cocaine and smoking grass while working… it was all about the work. It wasn’t about the drugs. We did them to keep going.”

Well, that explains why The Last Movie’s first cut was six hours long.

I guess when you’re coked out of your mind, time flies a little faster.

And higher.

Reason #57 why you shouldn’t use steroids: Your hot ex-wife will air your dirty laundry and hang your non-existent balls out the window like wind chimes:

JOSE Canseco said a lot about his steroid abuse in his best-selling autobiography, “Juiced.” But he left out the part about his shrunken testicles. His blond and buff ex-wife Jessica (above), who met the slugger on her third day waiting tables at Hooters in Cleveland, now reveals in Playboy: “Jose’s were non-existent. They’re not there… It wasn’t until we separated and I dated that I realized it… With other guys I was like, ‘Wow, those are some very large…’”

Sounds like “De-Juiced” would’ve been a more fitting title. Or how about the sporty “How I Hit Home Runs With No Balls”?