UPDATE: We have been notified by Jude Law’s lawyers that our popbitch-referenced sex party story is full of shit. The absence of a nanny theme should’ve ticked us off. Alas, it did not. I guess that’s why they say hindsight is 40/40.

We act for Jude Law. We have written to Popbitch and informed them that this story is completely untrue and highly defamatory of our client. They have confirmed that they are in the process of withdrawing it from their site. Kindly inform us that you will do the same immediately.

Well, what can I say, when a guy doesn’t want to get his freak on, he just doesn’t want to get his freak on. That’s cool. We don’t judge.

Casanova star Sienna Miller has confirmed Jude Law is history.At the London premier of her new film, she was asked if she had any advice for single women on their own for Valentine’s Day.

“Just stay single. Stick together with your girlies,” reports Press Association.

… and gang up on unsuspecting, boyfriend-stealing nannies.

Sienna Miller took love cheat Jude Law back only after he agreed to six ‘commandments’ about his future behaviour, it was revealed yesterday.The actress’s list of stringent conditions include the movie star staying faithful, controlling his temper and not asking her to marry him.

Miss Miller has also made Law list every person he has ever slept with.

She was furious when it was reported at the weekend that he once had a three-in-a-bed session with his ex-wife Sadie Frost and Kate Moss - because the model was not on his list. But he has denied he slept with her. […]

“Sienna believes in monogamy and will not stand for him cheating. And she has told him that he has to control his temper as he often used to shout at her and she will not take it any more.”

However, observers are already speculating that the agreement will never work. “Everyone is joking that she has written her commandments down on a scroll,’ said the source.

“But really Jude will never be able to fulfil these conditions, as they mean him totally changing his character.

What character? Did I miss something?