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'Scientology' Archive

June 6th, 2006

Tom prays for good PR

I guess if I were Tom Cruise, I would too:

Insiders reveal that Tom — fed up with what he apparently perceives as persistently lousy press — has started praying for journalists who make negative comments about him. The Lord of Inter-Galactic Cruise Control calls such newsmen “aberrations” — defined by Scientology as those afflicted by “departure from rational thought” — and is praying for the Supreme Being to grant them redemption.

Well Tom, if you’re fed up with your lousy press why not start seeing a shrink and try acting like a sane person for a change?

Remember, if you lose your mind, Xenu will have won.

TAGS: Celebs, Tom Cruise, Scientology

by Jaime in the late afternoon | Comments Off

July 25th, 2005

Scientology passes on Katie’s face

Did you ever stop and wonder what caused those nasty cold sores on Katie’s face?

No?

Fair enough. I didn’t either. But Lloyd Grove did and this is what he found out:

At Lowdown’s request, Manhattan dermatologist Paul Frank examined photographs of the future Mrs. Cruise.

“Although I can’t say for sure, this looks like a cold-sore attack,” Frank said. “Niacin shouldn’t trigger cold sores.”

Well then, what does?

“Stress is the No. 1 cause,” he replied. “God knows Scientology stresses me out!”

Reps for Cruise and Holmes didn’t return phone calls, and a Scientology official said: “Whatever you see on her face has got nothing to do with us. It’s insulting that you would ask such a thing.”

At least now we know that Scientologists aren’t shallow like the rest of L.A.

It’s what’s on the inside that counts, right? Right!

TAGS: Celebs, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Lloyd Grove, Scientology, News Mongers