Could this be the reason why all transvestite prostitutes on Hollywood Blvd. sing “I Will Survive”:

Actor Eddie Murphy’s wife of 12 years, Nicole, filed for divorce from the star on Friday, his publicist said.

No further details were disclosed. Murphy, 44, issued a statement saying, “The welfare of our children is our main concern, and their best interests are our first priority.”

The “Saturday Night Live” alumnus and star of such films as “Beverly Hills Cop” and remakes of “Dr. Dolittle” and “The Nutty Professor” has five children with the former Nicole Mitchell, a model, whom he married in March 1993.

Ouch! 12 years and five children… This is gonna hurt.

Eddie, you’re complementary ‘Preparation H’ is already in the mail.

Who says all Hollywood actresses have to have loose morals to succeed in this town?

Ok, I do.

But I think I need to reevaluate my blanket statement in light of some new information:

Kate Hudson says monogamy is tricky business � but she’s still faithful to her hubby. […]

“I don’t believe (monogamy) is realistic,” Hudson, 26, tells TV’s Access Hollywood. “But, I believe that we, as people, have the power to make it happen.”

Speak for yourself. I’m a lost case.

At last, Veronique Vial managed to go where few non-groupies have gone before — the private pools of today’s Hollywood stars:

Integral to the image of Southern California glamour and success, the luxurious backyard pool symbolizes fun in the sun for those who have made it - vivid, aqueous proof of the American Dream hard at play. As much of an icon of prosperity as it is a decadent trophy for healthful living and social aspirations, the pool is one of America’s supreme status symbols dating back to the time of The Great Gatsby. More than an athletic accoutrement, the swimming pool is superbly designed for socializing, frolicking, sunbathing, skinny-dipping… in short, for having loud, splashy fun.

In Hollywood Splash photographer Veronique Vial took a dip into the private pools of today’s top actors and models, and captured exclusive wet poses and staged aquatic antics from hundreds of famous and soon-to-be-famous stars, celebrities, and notable faces. It features amusing and hilarious collaborative wet hijinks, all playfully cavorting and hamming it up in, with, on, around, beside, under, and over water and other aqueous substitutes for Vial’s camera.

Well, at least somebody is having fun in this town…

Damnit! I want loud, splashy fun, too!

We all do it. If you’re a coworker of mine, you’re doing it every 18 minutes.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking about yawning!

Well, yawning celebrities to be exact.

First she ended her TV show. Then her marriage. And now she’s determined to end what’s left of her fizzling career:

According to Sky News, the cast of the smash-sitcom [Friends] are being roped into a tell-all retrospective doco on the hit series. Everyone but Jennifer Aniston has agreed to do it.

A scooper tells the site, “All the cast members are up for a documentary based on the show which would have featured exclusive interviews with the cast � all except Jennifer Aniston. Rumour is she is still too distraught about the split from hubby Brad Pitt while others cite the fact that she wants to move away from her Rachel image for good.

Umm, okay, I think Jen doesn’t really understand how popular ‘Friends’ is. I mean, how do you move away from an image that is part of a show that is on TV every friggin’ day?!

Good God, this Brad/Angelina/Jennifer triangle of lovely lust is like the gossip equivalent of warm milk-n’-cookies.

You just can’t get enough of that tasty, hot combo:

TO add fuel to Jennifer Aniston’s sad fire, there are now reports that Angelina Jolie’s adopted son, Maddox (above), calls Brad Pitt “daddy.” According to Us Weekly, while filming an Edwin Jeans commercial for the Japanese market in Lancaster, Calif., Maddox started crying for Pitt, yelling, “Where’s my daddy?”

Who needs sugar in their coffee when you can start your day with sweets like these!?

Ross proves that it’s easier to make ‘friends’ when you’re a Hollywood TV star.

You just aim, please, and… BANG!

HE’S a long way from home so you can’t blame David Schwimmer for trying to make new Friends.

But we don’t think current squeeze Rochelle Ovitt will be too thrilled to learn the actor has been playing tonsil tennis with another woman. […]

Our well-placed spy said: “David seemed like he wanted to be as discreet as possible, but wearing a baseball cap pulled very low over your face is guaranteed to get you noticed. […]

“He had a private booth and was dancing away with an army of admirers all trying desperately to catch his eye.”

“Only one girl took his fancy, though, a very attractive mixed-race woman. They got chatting and it wasn’t long before they were sitting in a corner getting to know each other better.”

And he’s obviously got his pulling technique down to a fine art because we’re told the pair soon shared a lingering kiss.

The source said: “She looked very pleased to have snared a Hollywood star and didn’t let him out of her sight all night. She was hanging off him the whole evening and looked determined to keep those other girls away from him. But she needn’t have bothered - he only had eyes for her.”

How sweet.

Brad Pitt may very well be missing the sensitivity chip, but that doesn’t mean he’s gonna go out like a punk and become the butt of all jokes come this Friday:

In the new issue of Vanity Fair, a still heartsick Jennifer Aniston makes a swipe at soon-to-be ex-husband Brad Pitt’s spiky ultra blond hairstyle: “Billy Idol called, he wants his look back.”

Now she can polish off some Goth jokes.

On Wednesday’s “Access Hollywood,” waitress Carol Sexton reveals that on Tuesday, Aug. 2 Pitt and rumored-but-still-not-confirmed new squeeze, Angeline Jolie [sic], stopped in at her Lake Havasu, Arizona IHOP for breakfast — Vive La French toast for him, pancakes and bacon for the lady.

Sexton goes on to share that Pitt has apparently dyed his hair black as well. Whether this is a sign that it’s not just women who tend to make drastic physical changes when they get (or get rid of) a significant other, for a role or an attempt at anonymity is unknown.

Carol Sexton?? That’s an inside joke, right?

I mean, c’mon, who makes up these names?

If you’re anything like me, you too have spent the last five nights lying wide-awake in a puddle of cold sweat trying to crack the riddle of Lachlan’s abrupt departure.

Well, get ready for a good night’s sleep as I present to you the detailed recount of a heart-broken Lachlan in all its unfiltered tenderness:

Last Friday, July 29, shortly after his sudden abdication as the designated crown prince of News Corp., Lachlan Murdoch went to lunch at Da Silvano. The 33-year-old bluff and hardy publisher and News Corp. executive came in at around 1 p.m. with a group of about eight people, according to one eyewitness.

He stayed for five and a half hours.

“They started with�they all ordered Italian beers, Peroni Nastro Azzurro, the best line of Peroni,” the eyewitness said. Then came multiple bottles of Lupicaia wine, and cold cuts, truffled burrata cheese, stuffed zucchini blossoms, branzino, homemade pasta with more truffles. Lachlan Murdoch’s wife, bra and swimsuit model Sarah O’Hare, stopped by, bringing their infant son, Kalan.

By the last half hour of the meal, the bare-knuckled young publisher of the New York Post was in tears. “He was like, sort of crying on an elder gentleman at the table,” the eyewitness said. “It seemed to me like a very tender moment.”

Who could blame him?

I think that’s a rhetorical question.

Right?

I pity the fool who steps on Sony’s block and tries to lure their prized sequel hoes away with claims of ownership:

A film company wants a federal court to declare it can make a movie based on the character of “Zorro” despite objections by Sony Pictures Entertainment, the movie studio behind the 1998 film “The Mask of Zorro.” […]

In the complaint, Sobini claims that in 2000 it acquired the rights to the 1919 Johnston McCulley book “The Curse of Capistrano,” in which the swashbuckling masked avenger made his debut, and is entitled to produce “Zorro 2110,” a futuristic spin on “Zorro.”

The lawsuit comes in response to a cease-and-desist letter from Sony Pictures, asserting it owns the exclusive license to develop and distribute all films and television programs based on “Zorro,” said attorney Bruce Isaacs, who is representing Sobini.

The Sony letter has made it difficult for the Sobini production to proceed, Isaacs said.

I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure that’s the purpose of a ‘cease-and-desist’.