It sure looks like Howard Stern is still the king of all [edit: premium subscription] media:

In Demand Network on Wednesday said it has a three-year exclusive deal to begin airing a televised version of popular shock jock Howard Stern’s ribald radio show on one of its video-on-demand channels starting later this year.

The deal, which comes 10 months after Sirius Satellite Radio agreed to pay Stern $500 million to leap to satellite radio, means that Stern, who became a poster boy for bad behavior on U.S. airwaves, will by January no longer be heard or seen in original shows on free radio or basic cable. […]

A spokesman for privately held In Demand, whose investors include cable operators Comcast Corp., Cox Communications and Time Warner Inc., said it will likely launch something akin to a “Howard Stern Channel” later this year. Viewers will pay a monthly subscription fee to their cable operator to watch the shows.

I wouldn’t be suprised if a lot more than just the gloves come off…

Does this scripted denial remind you of somebody?

Nick Lachey and Kelly Ripa took a broom to some rumors as they co-hosted the syndicated TV show “Live With Regis and Kelly.” Lachey denied reports that his marriage to Jessica Simpson is on the rocks, and Ripa said her co-host, Regis Philbin, isn’t getting the boot from the daytime talk show.

On Wednesday’s show, Lachey said everything is “absolutely wonderful” between him and Simpson, who co-stars in “The Dukes of Hazzard” film. The 31-year-old singer also denied being jealous of her career being hotter than his.

When I close my eyes, he sounds just like Scott Foley… right before he got the boot.

Yeah, what could have been the beginning of a new, ground-breaking trend to please the beloved moviegoing audience at large is, unfortunately, nothing more than a legal slap on the wrist for making up movie critics for crappy movies:

Sony Pictures Entertainment must pay $1.5 million to settle a class-action lawsuit accusing the studio of citing a fake movie critic in ads for several films.

Moviegoers who saw the films “Vertical Limit,” “A Knight’s Tale,” “The Animal,” “Hollow Man” or “The Patriot” during their original theater runs must file a claim to be eligible for a $5 per ticket reimbursement, lawyer Norman Blumenthal said Tuesday.

And please also note that if you’ve seen all five, Amy Pascal will add you to her Christmas list.

Talk about getting screwed by karma for screwing a married man:

Sienna Miller may have been doubly wounded when she found out fianc� Jude Law had cheated on her: The actress is said to be carrying his baby.

Last month, the couple gathered friends and kin at their London home to announce that Miller was nine weeks pregnant, sources tell Star magazine.

Miller’s bliss curdled a few days later when she opened the Sunday Mirror to read about the affair Law, 32, had with his kids’ nanny, Daisy Wright, 26. […]

During his marriage to Sadie Frost, the mother of his three children, the “Alfie” star cheated with no fewer than six women - a model, a celebrity’s assistant, two A-list stars, a rock star’s ex-wife and a lap dancer, according to Star.

It sounds like someone had a little too much fun getting into character for ‘Alfie’. I mean, good gosh, he makes Colin Farrell look like a celibate virgin.

I can’t say I’m all that suprised to hear that this may very well be the real thing:

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Mr. and who-knows-how-long Mrs. Lachey have recently not spent all their time denying she’ll take the high road and he’ll take the low road. Some of this time has been spent divvying up assets. […]

TV shows and magazines called to get more since nobody was saying anything. I wouldn’t offer more. All I’m saying today is, that as of this minute � late Tuesday � I have heard no shriek. Nobody complaining I’m a dumb, stupid, imbecilic idiot jerk who doesn’t know what I’m slobbering about. In fact, there are small, tiny little reports flickering out that they are confirming a divorce settlement has been, in fact, “executed.”

I hate to say “I told you so”, but let’s face it, I don’t get to talk nearly enough.

*does the robot*

38% of you were wrong, wrong, wrong!

I guess there’s only space for one in the General Lee on the winding road to stardom.

No C-list celebrity hitchhikers husbands allowed.

PR stunts are not what they used to be.

Gone are the good ol’ days when stars would get hitched on the Eiffel tower before a scheduled press conference or jump on daytime talk show couches to lend credibility to their futile efforts.

Sigh. Yeah, those were the days…

Despite what you may have read, Hollywood bottom feeder Mitch Mortaza is not dating Lindsay Lohan.

For the past several weeks, some apparent associates of Mortaza�party promoters linked to the Cabana and Spider clubs in L.A.�have been e-mailing “exclusive tips” to various publications chronicling a tumultuous romance between the teen queen and the 31-year-old TV producer. Several of the tips have been printed nearly verbatim. None of them appear to be true.

Lohan’s rep, Leslie Sloane, says the starlet doesn’t even know him: “I’ve got tabloid reporters calling me every day with these same items, saying they heard he was seen outside Cartier buying her a ring�all from the same source. She’s not dating him. There is no way they are together. She’s in Long Island with her family and will be returning to L.A. in ten days. I think Mitch needs to get a life.

Or a better PR rep.

Yeah, I think that pretty much captures the gist of Vanity Fair’s upcoming Jennifer Aniston interview:

Aniston’s pals say Pitt checked out of the marriage as soon as he met Jolie on the set of “Mr. & Mrs. Smith.” They note that he even failed to make the taping of her final episode of “Friends.” When she reached out for her husband’s support, she says, “He just wasn’t there for me.”

Does Aniston buy his claim that he didn’t cheat on her before they separated?

“I choose to believe my husband,” says Aniston, who nevertheless was hurt by that W magazine portfolio of Pitt and Jolie playing husband and wife.

“There’s a sensitivity chip that’s missing [in him],” she says. “I can … imagine Brad having absolutely no clue why people would be appalled by it.”

… and his new blond dye job:

“Billy Idol called,” she says. “He wants his look back.”

Touch�.

“PR 101″ taught me there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

My “Director’s Workshop” taught me there’s no such thing as a bad audition.

At least not if you’re the director:

JUDE Law’s jilted gal pal, Sienna Miller, will play Andy Warhol superstar Edie Sedgwick after all � but the director swears his change of heart had nothing to do with her newly enhanced press profile. Miller’s name and face have been everywhere since it was reported last month that Law had shagged his kids’ nanny. […]

Hickenlooper, who says Miller was able to have the part again after filming was pushed back, declares it’s “blatantly absurd to think that tabloid gossip had anything to do with it. We cast her the old-fashioned way, because she’s brilliantly talented.”

Mmm, the ‘old-fashioned way’…? You don’t say…

Could this be a not-so-veiled reference to the much-loved/well-traveled piece of legendary furniture known as the ‘casting couch’?

Jessica Simpson may be ditzy, but she ain’t lazy. When the big beauty product gigs don’t come knocking, she gets proactive:

JESSICA Simpson seems to be fudging the truth on the brand of acne medicine that cleared up her formerly pimple-plagued face. The “Dukes of Hazzard” blondeshell has said in interviews that she zapped her zits with the strong prescription medicine Accutane. But once Simpson was hired as a spokesmodel for Proactiv, she changed her tune. On Proactiv’s Web site, she now sings that product’s praises.

At last we know how she zapped her zits.

Now if only I could figure out how she zapped her brain I might be able to solve the riddle that is Jessica Simpson.

This one’s a bit tricky, but at least it’s not as watered-down as the last one:

WHICH Hollywood honcho married to the president of a star’s production company is in rehab for drug abuse? Sadly, word is he won’t have his job when he gets out… WHICH chic South Beach hotel employs a handsome masseur who is famous for delivering “happy endings” to female clients? The hotel either doesn’t know or doesn’t care — but more than a few wives of high-profile guests have been singing his praises… WHICH heads of talent agencies are looking to cash out? They’ve been quietly asking around for buyers for their agencies, much to their employees’ ignorance. Seems they’re sick of standing on the sidelines, working like dogs to make a mere $5 million a year.

a) I have a hunch, but, as far as I know, his wife’s not a president.
b) I know two, which one is she referring to?
c) What is ICM?