So the big guys over at the Phfoker bunker have just notified me that they’ve managed to recruit another victim into their devious circle of doom:

Moe Slitz is an uncompromising blog that deals with all the stuff that really matters. What’s that, you ask? D’uh! Babes, booze and the creative wisdom on how to efficiently combine the two, of course.

What can I say, Moe Slitz is all about having a good time. Welcome to the party, pal.

I like parties. This sounds promising.

THE Davis dynasty of Beverly Hills is urging oily heir Brandon to enter a drug and alcohol rehab facility - but so far Brandon has resisted their pleas. […]

But while the unemployed Brandon is balking at entering a rehab facility because he thinks he doesn’t have a drug or alcohol problem, his family wants him to go for public-relations reasons.

Ever since the video surfaced, the Davis family has been shunned by young Hollywood, and matriarch Barbara Davis is even having problems getting A-listers to participate in her annual Carousel Ball in October.

I don’t think it’s the bad PR. A-listers hate to be surrounded by ugly and Brandon’s mom is some seriously ugly lady. I mean come on, I can’t be the only one who craves a “Yo Momma” joke when looking at that plastic surgery troll in a dress.

It’s like some unwritten law of nature or something - some parties rock and some, well, blow chunks. Ain’t that right Linds?

Lindsay Lohan was eating at the Spotted Pig gastropub in New York recently. She and her friends had commandeered the private room. When the group left, staff found that someone had vomited all over the room. Cue a frantic rush to clean up ready for the next reservation. And so poor Chelsea Clinton and friends sat down to dinner, with the room still stinking of bleach and ammonia.

That’s sick. I think I’m gonna hurl.

[Source: popbitch]

If the rumors are to be believed, Mandy Moore dumped Zach Braff:

“There was no drama,” says the source. “They were ready.” “One big factor: their nine-year age gap. “Mandy was very young when they got together and she wanted to see what’s out there, now that she’s a woman,” says the source. “Zach was mature and realized it was time to let her do that.”

Or maybe she’s just looking for another 8+ inch pole. I don’t know. I’m just saying.

Good times. Matt Damon and his wife Luciana Bozan are proud new parents of a little baby girl:

Matt Damon and his wife, Luciana, have welcomed a baby girl named Isabella, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.

“The baby is here. Isabella arrived yesterday,” Damon’s brother Kyle told PEOPLE on Monday. Isabella was born Sunday night in Miami.

“Mother and Isabella are doing fine,” Damon’s rep Jennifer Allen, confirmed to PEOPLE. “The family is very happy and everyone’s healthy.”

This is the first child for the couple. Luciana also has a daughter, Alexia, from a previous marriage.

Cute shit. The Hollywood Baby Boom shows no sign of fatigue.

So here is what I learned from the new Britney Spears interview: Girl’s still an airhead.

Despite the tabloids reports of trouble on the home front, Spears shares with Lauer that her marriage with Kevin Federline is “awesome,” (Jaime: Sure, that makes sense. He’s an “awesome” guy.) and that the reports of Kevin living in the basement are false. Read the rest of this entry »

It appears Lindsay Lohan has an uncanny knack for pissing off people:

The 19-year-old party girl annoyed editor Anna Wintour at a New York fashion awards dinner by apparently going to the loo six times in two hours, a spy tells the New York Post.

During the last trip Wintour was reportedly heard whispering to a Vogue staffer, “Tell her, if she gets up one more time, she won’t be invited to one of my events again.”

Lindsay should have been made aware that in the fashion industry “bathroom breaks” are capped at three per hour in order to manage the massive traffic around the sink. Models like to “powder” their nose too. Just ask Kate.

Is it possible that Shiloh isn’t the product of Brad Pitt’s “two pounds of cock“? The National Enquirer seems to think so:

“Angelina Jolie has been struggling with the most explosive Hollywood secret ever! Brad Pitt may not be the father of her newborn daughter, a source tells The Enquirer!”

Well, if it’s not Brad Pitt it’s probably Jonny Lee Miller.

[Source: Tabloid Whore]

LINDSAY LOHAN feels like the man when she falls in love, because she can’t stay faithful to her partner.

The MEAN GIRLS star insists she’s too young and has too many crushes to settle down with just one guy.

She tells style magazine Harper’s Bazaar, “I’ve become like the guy in relationships. Lately I just cannot be in a monogamous relationship. But there are people I want to date.”

Umm, what exactly does she mean by “lately“? Did she have a down phase that I missed?

What is Brad Pitt trying to tell us?

“Shiloh Pitt” in Swedish translates as “two pounds of cock”.

Well, I guess she really is daddy’s *little* girl…

[Source: popbitch]