Yes, it’s true. Jess will now only work with female dolphins due to, erm, challenging conditions while filming Flipper.

She revealed: “I don’t know if anybody knows this but dolphins get excited, even when you are a human being.

“And they have long, long … penises.

“I didn’t know this until I was being poked by a few of them, which was very rude.

“I think I learned my lesson. I sort of request female dolphins after that because those are horny little b******s.”

I don’t know what’s funnier, the fact Jessica Alba was “hit on” by dolphins or the fact the Brits censor the word “bastards”…

Call it what you want: Deja Vu, Milli Vanilli or Wannabe Blondie. Fact is Paris Hilton is still unbearable and heavily sfx processed (Yes, that’s right! I know all about those little recording studio tricks. I didn’t bang a musician for nothing.)

[Source: Dlisted]

I guess if I were Tom Cruise, I would too:

Insiders reveal that Tom — fed up with what he apparently perceives as persistently lousy press — has started praying for journalists who make negative comments about him. The Lord of Inter-Galactic Cruise Control calls such newsmen “aberrations” — defined by Scientology as those afflicted by “departure from rational thought” — and is praying for the Supreme Being to grant them redemption.

Well Tom, if you’re fed up with your lousy press why not start seeing a shrink and try acting like a sane person for a change?

Remember, if you lose your mind, Xenu will have won.

So, this being my very first Famed Trash post, I was ready to tear up some shit and then I had to go stumble across this… Not fair. How am I supposed to trash this guy? He’s the cutest coolest:

Keanu Reeves, a self-described “vagabond,” is ready to settle down, he says – and that includes having a family. […]

“I’ve had a vagabond life,” he says. “There is a bit of the gypsy in me, and living that way seemed to make sense. I couldn’t settle down. I liked going to new places – renting apartments, staying in hotels. Then I turned 40. That birthday is hard, perhaps because you know you’re grown-up. So now it’s a makeover for me. I have bought my first house. I wanted a home.”

And now that he’s got the home, he’s searching for that special someone to share it with, which is probably not all that easy.

Read the rest of this entry »

Good times, everybody. I have found a new partner in crime - a self-proclaimed “gossip junkie” and “mean girl” from the “Valley”.

Say hello to Jaime, our new resident editor evil.

Journalists in Namibia covering the birth of the new messiah, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, are being subjected to harrassment, intimidation and threats. One journalist who was suspected of leaking the scoop that Angelina had given birth has been followed by a local heavy for days. She noticed a man hanging around her house, following her everywhere, so she went to the police. On her return to her house the man knocked on her door, introducing himself with the chilling phrase, “I am not a psychopath or a killer, but…”, before telling the stringer that he’d been hired to scare her: give her “a taste of her own medicine”. What’s even more galling is that the journalist was entirely innocent of being the leak. That award goes to an enterprising American female reporter who managed to check into the Cottage Medi-Clinic in Swakopmund, and shagged one of the doctors in order to get the scoop.

Whoa! I had no idea Paris Hilton was moonlighting as a reporter in Namibia.

[Source: Popbitch]

Call it a lucky break for Michelle Rodriguez: The former Lost actress was released from Los Angeles County Jail on Thursday after serving a mere four hours and 20 minutes of her two-month jail sentence.

“Needless to say, our prosecutors are not happy about this,” says a spokesperson for the L.A. City Attorney’s office. “But the sheriffs have a policy to let some nonviolent offenders go early, in part due to jail overcrowding.”

Rodriguez, 27, must perform 30 days of community service and is on two years probation.

The night of her release, the actress was spotted at the Tropicana Bar at the Roosevelt Hotel, and on Monday night at the Hollywood club Shag.

“Michelle’s happy with the way things turned out,” her friend, designer Anand Jon, tells PEOPLE. “She knows this wasn’t a literal get-out-of-jail-free card. Michelle’s taken responsibility for the past and now she’s ready to focus on her career.”

Ummm, so she’s ready to focus on her career, eh? Yeah, for some reason I really don’t see that happening.

It sure sounds like being pregnant is the new pink in Hollywood.

Sofia Coppola is expecting her first child with boyfriend Thomas Mars. The director of such acclaimed films as The Virgin Suicides and Lost in Translation is three months along, Coppola’s rep confirms to Us. The couple announced their pregnancy at the Cannes Film Festival where Coppola’s latest film, Marie Antoinette, premiered last week. Mars is the lead singer of the French band Phoenix, which makes a cameo serenading the French queen in Coppola’s film.

And while we’re on the subject of babies, let’s do a quickie baby news recap of the last few weeks:

• Brad and Angie.
• Mira and some guy.
• Gwen and Gavin.
• Kevin and some chick.
• Tom and Katie Kate.
• Brooke and some guy.

Am I missing anyone?

Or maybe Paris Hilton is just working her wit to land a big tampon gig. I mean let’s face it, not everyone can hit the Gillette jackpot:

So I got some really funny juicy shit…through a buddy who I actually picked up on the set (she was working as hair and makeup) I heard that in this video shoot the girls were laughing at Paris cause she got her *monthly bill* as she was getting her makeup and hair checked and that everyone ran out as Paris ran to the restroom as the blood dripped down her leg…they heard Paris and a girl friend of hers arguing on how dumb she is- knowing she was due only for Paris to say “I’m HOT and I can’t be HOt with a tampon on, besides, it doesn’t go w/ my outfit” she said Paris later called them bitch’s and made them promise not to say anything or she would take legal action…she tried to be cute about it but it didn’t work…LOL…they said it stunk so bad and that it was the nastiest thing they had ever seen…also that she’s so nasty and vain in person…she also wears loads of makeup and that its gut twisting to hear her talk on the phone as she talked more trash about Lindsey Lohan…at one point she compared a lil. weiner to Brandon (her buddy?) but then said it was Lindsey’s…also through out the whole day she was going around saying she was “HOT” and how everyone should treat like Royalty cause she was…TRUE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazy kids. Just as I was starting to think that the toilet seat auction was a new low — BAM! She lowers the bar another fifty inches.

GORGEOUS Mariah Carey has insured her legs for $1billion after being signed up to front Gillette’s Legs Of A Goddess campaign.

A source close to the 36-year-old - whose single Say Something is out on June 5 - reveals: “The sum reflects her popularity.”

Well, I guess we all know what the next Paris Hilton PR stunt will be… insuring her annoying character for $5 billion.

Am I right or am I right?