Hilary Swank and husband Chad Lowe are divorcing, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.

“Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe have jointly decided to divorce,” the couple’s lawyer, Jeffrey A. Bernstein, tells PEOPLE. “They continue to be friends and have the utmost respect for one another.”

Well, let’s just hope this doesn’t turn into the next “Charlie & Denise” show. I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of crazy commitment…

Tobey Maguire’s fiancée has been given a boost as she embarks on a career as a jeweler–Jennifer Aniston is a big fan of her designs. The former Friends star has been spotted wearing one of Jennifer Meyer’s necklaces as she promotes new movie The Break-Up and the future Mrs. Maguire is thrilled.

Meyer says, “I hit the jackpot. If somebody said, ‘Who do you aspire to wear your jewelry?’ I would have said Jen.”

Umm, okay, let’s backtrack for a moment and put things into perspective…

Jennifer Aniston - Star of The Break-Up
The Break-Up - A Universal Pictures Movie
Jennifer Meyer - Daughter of Ron Meyer
Ron Meyer - President of Universal Studios

Call me a cynic, but I think this is how it went down:

Ron Daddy: Who do you aspire to wear your jewelry?
Jen Meyer: Jen.
Ron Daddy: No problem. Anything else?

TOM CRUISE and KATIE HOLMES closed off a public toilet in Hollywood yesterday (25MAY06) when they were caught short at a little league baseball game. The couple was watching a game featuring Cruise’s son CONNOR when they needed to take a toilet break. Bodyguards made sure the public loo was empty before the couple stepped inside. The minders then waited outside as the pair relieved themselves.

How romantic… the two lovebirds pee insync.

I don’t know about you, but I for one am convinced that their marriage is real. It has to be, right?

An enterprising German farmer is hoping to cash in on a recent Paris Hilton toilet break at his home by auctioning off the seat she sat on.

Hilton was caught short on a recent helicopter flight in Europe and demanded the pilot landed his toilet-free chopper, so she could pee.

The quick-thinking pilot realized he was close to a friend’s farmhouse and landed close by so his desperate passenger could relieve herself.

The farmer, who offered up his toilet, is now looking to auction the seat his celebrity guest sat on.

I don’t wanna crap on anyone’s cake or anything, but what if she toilet paper’d the toilet seat before sitting down? Then, technically, she wouldn’t really have sat on it, now would she?

Casanova star Sienna Miller has confirmed Jude Law is history.At the London premier of her new film, she was asked if she had any advice for single women on their own for Valentine’s Day.

“Just stay single. Stick together with your girlies,” reports Press Association.

… and gang up on unsuspecting, boyfriend-stealing nannies.

HOLLYWOOD megastar Tom Cruise is furious royal biographer Andrew Morton is using a gay porn actor to investigate his private life. […]Morton, who collaborated with Princess Diana to produce an account of her troubled life, is paying 58-year-old Paul Baressi to help him with his warts-and-all book about Cruise.

Baressi has starred in 25 gay porn films but now works as a private investigator in LA.

“I am a key source of information regarding several things,” Baressi said.

Baressi claims to have provided Morton with documentation regarding a bizarre episode in which Cruise, 43, was falsely accused of having a homosexual encounter while shooting the film Eyes Wide Shut in the UK.

Yesterday Cruise’s lawyer Bert Fields said the actor would sue Morton and New York-based publishers St Martin’s Press if they used the letter he wrote in response to try to cast aspersions on Cruise’s sexuality.

“I wrote a letter to Mr Morton back in November and said he obviously was entitled to write the book but ‘make sure you check your facts’,” Mr Fields said. “If he tries to use my letter to create the impression that Mr Cruise did have a gay affair, we will certainly sue … because the story is false.

“Mr Cruise is not gay.”

There you go. The man ain’t gay. His lawyer said so.

Okay people, brace yourselves! I think we are looking at the first strike (or is it ‘bang’?) of another Paris Hilton sex-tape scandal publicity orgy.

Ummm, at least that’s what my online-german-translator tells me. I think.

It appears, according to this German paper, Paris Hilton is currently busy trying to perfect the dictionary definition of “vengeful bitch” by lusciously leaking disturbing pics of her “I-did-Val-Kilmer-because-he-said-I-was-famous-for nothing” phase.

Well Val, looks to me like she’s famous for being a little vengeful.

But then again, I could be wrong…

Sesame Street has been hit by a crime wave.The body of a female jogger was found Tuesday on property belonging to actor Carroll Spinney, who plays Big Bird on the long-running children’s series.

Social worker Judith Nilan was reported missing by her husband Monday after she failed to return from a run. On Tuesday, police discovered her body in a shed on Spinney’s property and proceeded to charge the actor’s caretaker, Scott Deojay, with kidnapping.[…]

Investigators linked Deojay to Nilan’s death after discovering the jogger’s headband near a bloody receipt signed by the caretaker after purchasing items for Spinney.

There were skid marks near the headband and a bloody trail led to the shed, where Nilan’s body was found tied up, her jogging pants pulled down and her head bloody where she appeared to have been beaten.

Police said the caretaker claimed he hit the woman with his car accidentally, then panicked. He claimed to have dragged her into his car, driven her to Spinney’s property, tied her up in order to pull her into the shed, where he deposited her body.

Sounds like a case that needs to be filed under: “What-A-Psycho?”.

Weezer lead singer Rivers Cuomo is continuing his celibacy past his self-declared deadline.The 35-year-old frontman earlier vowed to remain celibate for two years. Although that deadline expired six months ago, Cuomo still doesn’t expect to jump back in the sack anytime soon.

“It’s been two and a-half years now, actually,” Cuomo tells Blender magazine in its new issue, on newsstands Tuesday. “The vow is over, but I wanted to keep cruising.”

Umm, he wants to “keep cruising”… Really?? Me think someone’s got his lingo a little mixed up.

Who would have thought, Matt gives Project: “Marriage” a greenlight:

Matt Damon and his girlfriend of two years, Luciana Bozan, were married Friday morning in a private ceremony in Manhattan, his publicist confirms to PEOPLE.

This marks the first marriage for the 34-year-old Bourne Identity star. The Argentine-born Bozan, 29, a former bartender who is now an interior designer, has a 7-year-old daughter, Alexia, from a previous relationship.

Well, I guess that’s one way of avoiding diaper patrol Umm, okay, I’ve been informed that Luciana is three months pregnant. My bad. I really got some catching up to do…